Mindfucked.
Friday, November 12, 2010
I concede defeat.
I too, have lost faith in the values of humanity.
It doesn't matter how hard I try to rebuild my life, because the very foundation of it has been shaken. Badly. It's like building layers of bricks on wooden stilts... Kick the stilt gently and it all comes crumbling down once again.
WHY??
Is this how the real world works? The trusting ones get hurt by the deceitful, who ruthlessly destroy the systems that have been painstakingly built and then walk away, victorious? How on earth do these "people" find the means to mess up the proper lives of others? Why do these "people" even exist, and what are they living for, without a conscience, morals and decency? What has education, affluence and development done to them?
Just what kind of a sadistic world are we living in???---
You are an asshole, a jerk, a bastard, a cheat, a dog, a fucker, a creep, a scoundrel, a douche bag, a man-whore, a coward, a scum, a hypocrite, a pimp, a sinner, a fraud, a monster, a liar, a maggot, a fucktard, and
a low, low, low life. Your life is built on nothingness; you don't have to dig deep within to find emptiness, because all you have is a fake pride, deceits and hypocrisy. Education has done nothing to you - you are living proof of how the system has failed to incorporate morality, maturity and decency.
Beneath all that facade, you are no more than a fucking loser.
♥ my red umbrella
21:45
My first day at work, first email sent. :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
♥ my red umbrella
17:31
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
I am back. Not bigger, not better. But with a ginormous load on my shoulders and a very weary heart.
In a short, short span of 2 months, I have hurt all the people I love most, putting them through a pain that is enough to spin their world the other way round.
With my sheer impulse and foolishness, I have caused a damage that is so, so huge; things spun way out of control before I could even fully grasp the situation and suddenly, my world was crashing down.
What I have done is unforgivable – I will never be able to let go, no matter what. I haven’t even been able to sleep well for the past weeks because I am afraid… Afraid of loneliness, afraid of consequences, afraid of the nastier things Life will bring me. 2010 has been really, really cruel to me – I don’t know what is it that I have done to deserve all these, though I am fully aware that I have screwed things up myself…
Can Time really heal?
If it does… I hope it heals those I have hurt – my mummy, auntie carmen and him; because they deserve no less.
I am sorry, Daddy. I really am.
♥ my red umbrella
23:55
