Friday, April 27, 2007

it's 3.30am on friday now, and im wide awake.
because i've been hit by nostalgia! ahhhhhhh

had intended to write a letter a few days ago to an old friend of mine whom i've known since primary 5, but i procrastinated till 2am earlier and finally got it done. =)

jackyln isnt just a friend whom i've known; she was my best friend in primary 5 and 6.
though we were posted to the same secondary school, some stupid misunderstanding reduced us to mere hi-bye acquaintances for the next 4 years.
and then we resumed contact in JC, but it wasnt regular - several exchanges of hand-written letters and occasional meet-ups only.
but somehow after the As, we met up very frequently.
we'd play badminton, go for taitai tea-break sessions (usually her mum's muffins) and of course, weekday afternoon shopping trips which means we get to avoid crowds and strut in style instead of squeezing with kids. hahhahhaa

a very sweet and cute friend she is!
she'd often bring me home-baked goodies when we meet up, cos her mum loves baking and jackyln knows i've got a sweet tooth..
when im with her, there isnt a need to be self-conscious - we'd discuss abt body fats & tactics to hide them etc etc. lol
things were so simple then, we'd gossip, laugh and get all excited over trivial things.. we'd talk about being old ladies and still going for tea together...
but as always, singapore's terrific education system got in the way of us enjoying the finer things in life and ever since we were caught up with uni, we seldom met up.
and i miss her so much now. =(

so after i finished the 3-page letter which i wrote on cutesy papers, i spent half an hour trying to dig for my autograph book which had her add.
and i have all these boxes & tins of letters, photos, notes which i keep for memory's sake.
that's when nostalgia struck me hard.
i always keep snippets of my life so that in the future, i could look back and recall fondly what was life like back then.
i'd keep photos, ticket stubs, letters, notes, cards.. anything that'd remind me of the past.
so i saw the photos i took with my first 3 months PJC clique and the numerous postcards they wrote to me.. photos with cherylchew.. and all the other notes/postcards/letters my friends wrote to me... i also flipped through my autograph book.. and of all time, Colin Raye's Love Me had to play on the radio.
so i teared. lol. i miss those times so much.
it's such a pity that i've lost contact with those lovely people whom i cherished so much at one time... so im gonna start writing letters!

i miss the times when 'what course are you taking', 'where are you studying', 'i've got not enough clothes to wear', 'i need money to go shopping' etc didnt matter - everyone was studying the same thing, had the same goal in mind (to just graduate), wore the same things and werent the least bothered about fashion or makeup or money.


"when you look into the past and discover how much you have changed, the real shock comes when you cant recall who you started out as."
omg. totally heartbreaking.

if i've got a time machine, i'd choose to return to the times of genuine laughter and concern - when life was all about here and now, instead of having to worry about what's beyond our control - the future.
what'd i give to go back. =\

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

kamal called in the earlier today to enquire about my overview term paper.
he's definitely one of the sweetest teachers i've met in ntu - he treats students like friends and tutorial sessions are always like chitchat sessions..

well he called to express concern cos he hasnt received my paper which was due last monday.
he said "im just worried cos you've been quite consistent in your work"
so i told him i'll be withdrawing from school.. and he sounded really stunned.
not a surprise to me, considering the array of reactions i've received since i made up my mind 2 weeks ago.
but it still felt a little sour to know that i've yet disappointed another person who've thought well of me..

met up with cy & leong for lunch at bp coffeeshop.
caught up with each other and i asked if they'd further their studies after completing their degrees.
cy said she's thinking of doing masters in econs/finance, while leong wants to be a finance consultant who fetches a high salary. (i forgot the chimchim name she mentioned)
good for them. =)

my cousin called me just now, to enquire abt uni matters too.
damn coincidental lah - 2 calls in a day asking abt academic stuff.
he's a year older than me, got BBC for A's, finished NS but is working at a travel agency now.
he hasnt applied for uni, nobody dared to ask why.
he asked me the course fees for Sociology, and commented that its very expensive.
then he asked if engineering in ntu is good.
and mentioned that the cheapest course he knows of so far is business in smu.
i asked what his interest was, and he said 'money'. he wanted to study something that'll get him high-paying jobs.
so i saw his point.

how very ironic life can get.
there are those who can study 3-4years for a course that'll get them good money.
there are those, who study something because it'll get them a stable job despite it not being their ultimate fancy.
and then there're those who study something so they can get a decent job, get some money and then pursue their dreams.
there are some who study what they like even if it isnt popular.
ofcourse, there are also those who study what they like, and it happens to be a lucrative industry so they're on a roll.

because i've got too much time at hand these days, i've been thinking long and hard about life.
if the point of studying, is to get a decent job that pays well, so we can have money to lead a good life - then the ultimate aim is Money.
the entire rat race is driven by materialism - i think its sad.

i just need to get through this week with my sanity in tow.
no im not sad.. im just very, very, VERY worried the dragons will triumph over the defenseless rabbit.

and it came across to me that if im destined NOT to be in the rat race for wealth, success and consumerism, i'll just be a post(wo)man. =)
its such a noble job i say!

Friday, April 20, 2007

my mum's very proud that my brother's the first Yeo to further his studies abroad.
i felt a pang in my heart when she talked about it, and i didnt dare ask for her opinions on the state im in.

i think im a quitter.
so serves me right for being in a state of limbo now, fearful of competition from dragons and chinese tong baos.

everyone else has a place to be in, their rightful goals waiting to be achieved.
while im spending my days playing Spider Solitaire and reading newspapers and selling my clothes online. wth
so pathetic.

sidenote: my LuLu's here! will post pics when i finally get to touch it cos my brother has been hogging it since its arrival.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

and so, he fell asleep on me again.
the feeling's awful.
we don't get to talk for a few days, sms replies are usually laggy and there're times the reply just doesnt come at all.
and with so much time i have on hand now, the feeling gets a little overwhelming..

ahhhh may Candy Empire get back to me soon.
i seriously need a job before i blow the little money i have left on online shopping.
or before my hair turn all white from thinking too much.
being out of the rat race gives me too much time to think.
i think of where i am, where i was and where will i be.
of who i have, who i had and who i will have.
of what i want, what i wanted and what i will want.
comparing the present and the past, plus worrying abt the future for a prolonged period will drive me to insanity, im pretty sure.

may the Tourism Academy accept me.
because for once, i dont have a backup plan.


ps. dd, if you happen to read this while taking a break from your notes - JIAYOU OKAY! it's only 2weeks more before your long breakkkk! we'll go shopping when your papers are done and over with! =)

Friday, April 13, 2007

had it been 5 years, or even just 2 years ago, i never would've dreamed that i'd land myself in such a situation like now.

gee life's so unpredictable and yet, i still cant stop picturing myself 5 years down the road.
will i be taking the route i've decided on, or will there be detours again?
will the people around me now still be there with me?
will i, at the end of the day, achieve what i have wanted to all along?

ahh i have so much time at hand now that im constantly bombarded with random thoughts.
if this continues im gonna lose my mind.
i feel like a log floating aimlessly in the ocean...

that sounds so corny.
and i miss him a lot.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

exams are dangerously round the corner
and i havent been studying religiously.

i've got 2 reports, 1 essay, 2 quizzes to complete even BEFORE i can get down to mugging for exams' sake.
what the hell.

its 9days to my first paper
and 19days to the end of it all.

i just wish i'll make it through in one piece.

GBM!

till then, i think i'll take a hiatus from blogging.
though its a lousy excuse cos i have a dozen other websites to surf anyway.
i even resorted to playing sudoku online! ohmy.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007









Pretty pretty!
for a good whole 30minutes, i was actually thinking really hard about which colour should i get.
and i wanted so badly to get both.

but i guess one cant really have the best of both worlds, so i chose one of them.
hehhehe i am soooo very excited about it!
maybe i'll wear this on the last day of my exams if it reaches me in time. hoho!

ohyes. and im so in love with this!


pretty horrrr!
i wanted to get this as well!
but i came across something else ----

Sunday, April 01, 2007

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