Friday, May 04, 2007
it's 2.48am now and im wide awake. again.have been sleeping at unearthly hours the past few nights, due to insomnia and renewed addiction to my nintendo ds.thank goodness i've been kept pretty busy the past few days too, so i didnt have much time to think/worry abt my future.went to sentosa yesterday but the weather was disappointing.caught a glimpse of Tourism Academy - the back of the building actually, and it looked more like.. a tourist attraction. like.. Asian Civilization Museum? or.. Previously-Occupied-by-British Building kind of thing.its old.. newly refurbished and perhaps even repainted but still, its old.and then i got reminded of the pretty ntu buildings which sit atop a hill and i feel like im messing up my life. like, totally.ahhhh i really should stop thinking negatively.blog-hopped to a few strangers blogs and i've been reading their updates frequently.main reason was because they're hot - another was because their lives are soo happening.clubbing, drinking, shopping, dressing up, boyfriends.
i'd compare their lives with mine and i'll feel miserable.which is wrong, cos my life isnt exactly all that bad i guess.sigh negativity has invaded my senses ever since i stopped going to school and im not too sure it'll go away anytime soon.not only have i messed up my own life, i think i've caused quite a whirlwind in his life too.ever since we started out, he has bent his thrifty ways quite a bit just so he can take me out to nice dinners, movies etc.and because ns has been eating up much of his life, much of his time was spent on family and friends - but now it's mostly between ns and me.. he hasnt even had much time for his favourite sport, much less for his friends.his buddy even had to resort to using me to threaten him just so he would meet up with them..are relationships supposed to be like that?i made sure nothing will affect my social and family life.. but i didnt ensure the same for him.. so selfish.and i think there's something wrong with my grammer.. im having difficulty with has, have and had.
omg my brain is deteriorating.yay it's my brother's birthday TODAY!and he's leaving on July 9th or 10th... =(i wish i was the one leaving instead.
♥ my red umbrella
02:49
