in retrospect.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
hmm. i never thought of myself as a perfectionist, maybe more of an idealist. was chatting with a trusted friend of mine last night, and came to know that he and his buddy(whom is also my friend) had all along thought of me as someone who "aspire to live a taitai life".other phrases that sprung up were "he wants a simple life" and "wont live up to your expectations".im not sure if i should flattered or affronted.i thought long and hard abt it.i never thought of living a simple life. my aspirations, goals and dreams always had something "piang piang" abt it. i dont want just a decent car. i want a head-turneri dont want to have a normal admin job. i want authority, prestige and control.i dont want a normal 5-room flat. i see myself living in a designer home.perhaps, i dont like the idea of being average. to me, its either above-average, or i'd consider myself faring badly.everyone has dreams.mine just happen to be more of an ideal.i dont deny that reality is usually far from an ideal - but what harm is there in aiming far?i dont know whats my point in this entry.im just so bothered by the "i want to be taitai" image im portraying.which girl doesnt want to be a princess/queen in her own rights?maybe its time i lower my standards, so i wont get disappointed time and again.its not that i wish for something beyond myself, but i just thought maybe, the best is out there.its not that i like jumping in and out of wells, and take things lightly. i just thought that life is abt finding the right one and so if this well doesnt fit my butt, i should get out and look for another one.i dont even know if im making sense.i finally realised that my aspirations arent "simple"..time to drop back to a sensible level.cheers to all my friends who've found their 'simple happiness'. =)
♥ my red umbrella
20:56
